Being open and honest are possibly the most important factors in family communication. Sadly however, it happens rarely due to the fact we are not encouraged to say how we feel as children. If we are scared to tell the truth we will justify lying to save ourselves but being open and honest allows other people to trust us and feel safe with us.

Have you noticed how little children do not know how to be dishonest? ‘From out of the mouths of babes…’ as the expression goes, however they stop doing that when they are ticked off for being blunt and then learn to keep things to themselves.

Although we yearn for closeness in our relationships, we are taught not to trust people; ‘don’t talk to strangers’ we remind our children. Young girls learn to be suspicious of young men in case they ‘only want one thing’ and boys are taught not to express their feelings, which alienate them from each other.

Basic relating skills, like communicating our feelings with openness and honesty, and valuing our own and others’ needs, could be considered basic survival skills. Book 10 enables you to examine and practise these skills.