Login
Email address

Password
Register | Forgotten password?
Illustration for Today

spoil-the-child - medium

Will you? Go with your own intuition and ignore advice that doesn’t ‘sit’ well with you. Small children need to feel loved and secure; leaving them to cry for long periods of time does not produce secure attachment. Download Book 1, ‘Being a Parent’ FREE right now!

Read more…

Follow Us on Twitter

PostHeaderIcon Strong-Willed Two-Year Old. Help!

My two-year old daughter is becoming increasingly demanding and strong-willed. I don’t seem to be able to move without her either screaming or hanging onto me all the time. It’s as if she just wants her own way all the time. It’s incredibly frustrating as I can’t get anything done and sometimes I find I’m so tired I lose my temper and shout at her, which I’m always sorry for afterwards.

Have you any suggestions on how to get through this ‘terrible two’s’ phase any easier?

Sandra, Epping, UK

Supernanny’s reply:

Children learn about attachment to their mother, or primary care-giver, at an early age but if for any reason this attachment isn’t secure, such as the child or yourself may have spent some time in hospital, the child can become quite anxious when you leave her or are out of her sight.

While you may find her behaviour a sign of her developing a strong will and ‘trying to get her own way’, she genuinely does feel as if she’s being left alone.

The one thing children of all ages require is attention. If they can’t get good attention, they’ll behave in such a way as to get any attention, good or bad. Pushing her away and getting angry will only make the situation worse.

I would suggest spending as much time with her as possible over the next few days, playing or reading with her and ensuring that you let her know if you have to go into another room so that she is aware and can come with you. At the same time, if you can start to accept and acknowledge her feelings (see Book 2 ‘Feelings’) and speak to her openly and congruently about what you have to do, you will find she will quickly be a happier child. A child’s natural state is happiness and within a week of giving her lots of good attention, you should find a significant change.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Search
FAQs
How valuable is this information?
Answer
Testimonials

“Simple, straightforward, well-structured and very useful. I feel quite inspired to get a group of friends together to practise these skills on a weekly basis.”

– W.M. Larne

Featured Book
Cover07 - medium
Cover07 - large
One of the most useful skills a parent can learn; reflective listening is a mixture of skills which includes silence and good attention. Book 7 also introduces paraphrasing, reflecting feelings and reflecting hidden meanings.
We train children to think clearly whilst at the same time teaching them not to express their feelings. However, with children, the ‘surface’ problem is rarely the same as the underlying one.

Reflective listening helps you check with the speaker to make sure you’ve really heard and understood what they meant. It also gives them a feeling of safety in being understood and allows them to continue speaking to explore the problem further.

People in the counselling professions are taught to look beneath what is called the ‘presenting problem’ and reflective listening allows the speaker to open up and trust that their disclosures will not be judged in anyway. Book 7 is the first of two books which teaches you to become an expert listener and is extremely useful, not just with your children but with friends and family too.

Book 7 – Reflective Listening 1
Recommended Links
Find us on Facebook
 Copyright Parenting Skills Online 2018 - All Rights Reserved Site by Webspeed