There comes a time when we do have to deal with unwanted behaviour without blaming and shaming. Book 11 gives step-by-step guidance to using the ‘4-part I challenge’ which encourages the desired change from your child without resorting to attack and blame.

When we challenge unacceptable behaviour, we want to do it while remaining friends with our children. Encouraging high self-esteem in our children should always be at the fore-front of any action we take, therefore despite pointing out behaviour we don’t like; we still want them to feel good about themselves.

There are four steps to encouraging co-operation; describe the offending behaviour, state the effect it has on you, tell them how you feel about that effect on you and ask them to help you with solving the problem.

When you behave congruently, your children will learn to do the same; it’s all in the style of communication. Book 11 also explores the hypnotic effect of language.