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In some cases parents make a conscious decision to bring their children up differently from the way in which they were raised. Rather than being an aggressive or a submissive parent, Parenting Skills Online advocates being an assertive parent. Book 9 tells you how but you can get started right away and download Book 1, ‘Being a Parent’ FREE!

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PostDateIcon February 4th, 2010 | PostAuthorIcon Author: Linda

What we are not told when our babies arrive is that the greater part of our child’s learning is done unconsciously as a small child, and most of it up to the age of seven, called the imprint period. Information at an extensive rate of 5 billion synaptic connections per day is downloaded into a small child’s unconscious mind.
As parents we are the primary source of a child’s conscious and unconscious learnings and it is this fact which makes it all the more important in how we interact with our children during these formative years.

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Bearing in mind everyone has needs which need to be met, it’s important to know whose needs are greater at different times. Sometimes, in an effort to get what we want, others may see our behaviour as unacceptable, but it’s a good idea to look at four factors determining how accepting we are.
If we are feeling tired and irritable, sometimes it doesn’t take much to push our buttons but if everyone is happy, there’s no problem. However as human beings we all have the same needs and behave in ways to get those needs met, which is a normal and healthy situation.

For people who don’t get their needs met, they may resort to more extreme behaviour. While there’s nothing wrong in wanting your needs met but the behaviour can become undesirable or inappropriate and this can be seen negatively.

So it’s more useful to look at the behaviour in terms of whether we find it acceptable of unacceptable. In that way we are not labelling the child or the behaviour but looking at our own needs at the time. ‘Whose problem is it?’ teaches you how to identify who’s needs haven’t been met and how to deal with such situations.

Book 4 – Whose Problem Is It?
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