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We all have our own views on how to raise our children and maybe on reflection some people regard a strict upbringing as alright. Being assertive, open and congruent, however, are always preferable in helping a child feel good about himself. Get started with Book 1, ‘Being a Parent’ which you can download right now FREE!

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What we are not told when our babies arrive is that the greater part of our child’s learning is done unconsciously as a small child, and most of it up to the age of seven, called the imprint period. Information at an extensive rate of 5 billion synaptic connections per day is downloaded into a small child’s unconscious mind.
As parents we are the primary source of a child’s conscious and unconscious learnings and it is this fact which makes it all the more important in how we interact with our children during these formative years.

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One of the most useful skills a parent can learn; reflective listening is a mixture of skills which includes silence and good attention. Book 7 also introduces paraphrasing, reflecting feelings and reflecting hidden meanings.
We train children to think clearly whilst at the same time teaching them not to express their feelings. However, with children, the ‘surface’ problem is rarely the same as the underlying one.

Reflective listening helps you check with the speaker to make sure you’ve really heard and understood what they meant. It also gives them a feeling of safety in being understood and allows them to continue speaking to explore the problem further.

People in the counselling professions are taught to look beneath what is called the ‘presenting problem’ and reflective listening allows the speaker to open up and trust that their disclosures will not be judged in anyway. Book 7 is the first of two books which teaches you to become an expert listener and is extremely useful, not just with your children but with friends and family too.

Book 7 – Reflective Listening 1
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